trembling hands

as i sit here and stare intently at the blinking cursor i notice my hands are trembling. oh that it were some condition i was diagnosed with as a child. oh that it were the fact that the air conditioning is turned on too high. alas, i tremble from fear. this fear has always consumed my being. it is a fear of rejection and failure. that may seem trivial considering this is only a blog post. for me, putting my heart out there for even one person to see is dangerous and vulnerable.

all i want to be is somebody. someone people admire and trust. someone who is fearless and capable. and even as i type this i am reminded that because of some ripped and jagged pieces of wood, false accusations, a humble servant, and a beautiful disaster thousands of years ago...i am all the things i long to be and so much more.

see, i'm not one to be extremely serious all the time. i'm also not someone who forces religion or anything of the sort down other people's throats. who am i? i'm a child of the most loving and gracious Father. and i've seen firsthand how he can take someone who is sinking deep in their own sin and rescue them from their greatest enemy: them. take one look in the mirror and you're looking at the root of all your 'problems.' by nature, we are the most selfish creatures to walk the planet. and we run down the path to destruction as if the end result was for our good. fortunately, there is someone who cares deeply enough to save us from ourselves. and he deserves all of our worship and adoration. without him, we have nothing.

so, what now? well, i propose that if i surrender my fears to the Lord of Lords...he will lead me into everlasting peace and infinite grace. he'll do the same for you as well.